Wake up in hospital at 6am to a nice lady trying to serve me breakfast. I don't think she quite understands that my face is fully broken. She offers me bacon on toast. I have not eaten since7pm on Tuesday night. I am ravenous. Try to explain the situation via a series of mumbles, spittings and wild gesticulations. End up with a beaker (A BEAKER!) of milky wheat-a-bix.
During the course of the day I take a look at my new fellow ward mates. Some of the cases are quite sad. A girl with most of her hair missing - which looks like it has been burned off in patches - disappears early morning and does not re-emerge until late in the day. Feel like a bastard for feeling so glum for myself.I chose this. Most of the people in this ward did not. There is however one compadre I have something in common with.
A girl, a bit younger than me has had the same op, but to bring her top teeth back a bit and make her lower jaw more prominent. She has only had work done on one jaw (me both) - she looks better than me. Namely, she don't have no fat face mama. She is nice. Bitch.
Ma and Dad are bringing my brother for the evening visit. I am DREADING IT. My bro cracks me up just by looking at me at the best of times. How in the hell am I going to cope now that I look like somebody took a bicycle pump to my face? I look out into the corridor for some non-medical / patient related person that is preferably small child and easy to scare to test out the reaction of how hideous I look. No such luck. Brother arrives and looks right past me - he does not recognise me! Oh, nope he did. I try so hard not to laugh. It kills. We spend the evening thinking of fat people / freaks that I look like:
· The fat vampire from blade.
· Moonface from Enid Blyton's book the 'The Magical Far-away Tree'.
· The 'Bloaty Head's' from the computer game Theme Hospital
· The taxi driver in 'Home Alone 2: Lost in New York' that says to Kevin when he is running scared in the park "...aint much better in here kid".
That’s all we get for now.
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