The registrar says I can leave today. I should feel relieved. I do feel relieved. To be out of the hospital. Its just I know what’s coming now. A month of my wonderfully caring ma checking that I’ve got everything I need 24/7. It’s not her fault she's so caring, she gets it from me nan. I reassure her on the way home that if I'm not asking for anything then she can pretty much assume I don’t want anything to avoid future confusion. I know it will be in vain.
Just before we leave the hospital one of the elastics that are holding my jaw together with snaps. The nurse comes and tells me that the doctor will come see me soon to fix it. He is very busy but will be along as soon as he can. SHIT. HE. The only men I’ve seen so far share my gene pool and all staff I have seen so far are female (My surgeon made my face fat so he don’t count as even human no more). I try to gather myself, he's probs old, fatherly and wears corduroy. He is young, fit and wears a necklace that looks like he got it travelling. DOUBLE SHIT. This is almost as bad as the time I was admitted to hospital in the middle of the night with appendicitis and some newly graduated Adonis in a white coat stuck his finger up my arse. Yes in a medical way. Unfortunately. The hot doc opens my mouth to fix my elastics. It involves some poking around, and hurts a bit - as is to be expected. He says "don't worry... I know you’re very swollen", I reply "No. I'm always this attractive". TREBLE SHIT. I just hit on the hot doc looking like Quagmire from Family Guy. Home now please. Quickly.
finger in arses and finger in mouths. normal day for you then?
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